I want so badly to believeAbove is the chorus from "Clark Gable" by The Postal Service. Many times throughout the past year at college, these lines have stuck with me. Though I do love the song as a whole, these lines in particular speak to me about something different than the acted love story the song tells. I have really been frustrated lately by other people's sin. To put it bluntly, I have become sick of people's bullshit. (Now, now, please do not lecture me on swearing or on my lack of understanding when to use swear words. I have heard it all before). I have just been so frustrated with people saying one thing and then living another. With people saying that they are going to go about fixing something and then just not dealing with it. Now as I remember this, I see that I was indeed looking at the speck in my brother's eye unaware of the log in my own.
That there is truth, that love is real
And I want life in every word
To the extent that it's absurd
Tonight as I sit down to do my Bible study, these lyrics come back to me because I don't really want to take the time to sit down and focus on the Word of God. I'd rather watch Lost. It requires much less actual brain power. But by not actually digging into the Word, I am lying to myself by not practicing what I claim to believe. If I say that ultimately all that matters in the grand scheme of things is my relationship with God, then why is the majority of my time spent in so many other endeavors?
Indeed dear one--- I think many times the same thing as I am always consumed it seems, with WORK (another 4 letter word!) - and I claim kinship with Jesus as a child of the Living God- yet so many things I ALLOW to pull me away from His Word...we are yet human, with lofty goals and dreams, fleshly still...and have to fight that sinful nature.
ReplyDeleteI found it interesting that you use one of MY favorite thoughts (ie: in the grand scheme of things all that matters is my relationship with God!). Alas, it is much easier to BELIEVE in the good, the dream, the hope that goodness will prevail over the b.s., than to accept the lies of the devil that none of this is a worthwhile endeavor, truth, love, and faith.
It's worth it- though times we become disillusioned at the lies we are indeed confronted by, there are good people, good intents that get waylaid, and truth is where you seek it- you will be fine.