Wonderful Weekends

Today has been a wonderful Saturday, and I have only been awake for approximately two hours. Since coming to college, I have gained such an appreciation for Saturdays. Back in high school, Saturday meant that I worked a pretty lengthy shift at McDonald's that began anywhere between 6 and 8 am. It wasn't a day of relaxation. Weekends at Western are great, but this semester I haven't really been on campus much in the last two months. Last weekend was the first weekend back in forever, and it was stressful with a ten page paper due on Monday. This weekend is different. Classes have finished, and sure finals begin next week, but this weekend I plan to bask in just being here.

Last night was BCM's Open Mic Night, and let me just tell you, I have some talented friends with some excellent taste. Seriously made my heart happy to hear covers of Mumford and Sons, "January Wedding," "Death in His Grave," among others and there was a pretty hilarious dance to "Bye, Bye, Bye." Yummy ice cream and lovely people just completed the night. Those are the nights that I love, when we're all just able to enjoy everyone's company without school or anything to get in the way.

While I love being in those Friday night moments with great friends, I also love Saturday mornings by myself. It's hard to really get away from people in the hustle and bustle of the week. This morning, I rolled out of bed grateful for so many things and have spent this day enjoying several of my favorite things - Les Miserables (finally watching the 25th Anniversary musical... CANNOT WAIT FOR THE MOVIE!), Cheerios and milk, knitting, Hillsong in Spanish :)

I plan to enjoy this last week here as much as possible amidst the stress of finals, but I will be very grateful for a break and for Christmas.

Perspective is Everything.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

This whole semester just feels different, like I am living life looking through different glasses (metaphorically speaking... I am working on not needing a higher prescription). I am slightly obsessed with putting pretty pictures and quotes on my walls, and I think this one accurately reflects something I have been contemplating a lot lately.

It really does matter how you perceive things. Any given day, something will go awry. Sometimes you can fix those problems; other times you cannot. If you let a situation not turning out as you had planned or wanted determine your mood, then you will never be happy. As my friend Marlena's voice mail says, "Remember to find joy in the little things in life." That is so true. Each day, we must choose to look for joy in something other than the circumstances.

C.S. Lewis describes this very accurately in Mere Christianity. “It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in. And so on, all day. Standing back from all your natural fussings and frettings; coming in out of the wind.” 

This quote stood out to me when we read that book in Apologetics my senior year of high school, but I don't think I have been more aware of my need to die to myself each day and choose to live in Christ than I have this year. I am still learning, and there is oh so much to learn. I want to live a grateful life every day, not just on days like today. So often I am frustrated when I feel entitled to something that I cannot have for whatever reason. I am not entitled to anything though. I am beyond blessed, and I want to be grateful for what I have been blessed with. I want to learn contentment in all circumstances of life. I can't remember the source of this quote, but I have found it very true: "Learning gratitude turns everything into enough." 

I am grateful for so many things. I am genuinely happy with where I am in life right now even though it is a struggle. Quite honestly, there are some things that I really want to happen RIGHT NOW. But I am trusting in His provision for my life. If the Lord wills it, then it will be, and I am continually seeking to get rid of my selfish desires for His. 

Mittwoch Musings

Or Miercoles Musings. Or maybe I should just give up the attempts at alliteration and multilingualism and title this entry "Wednesday Musings." Where did the word "Wednesday" even come from?

This week is a strange week. It is quite difficult to come back to class after an extra long Fall Break (THANK YOU WESTERN!), and the flow of the week is thrown off even more by a wedding I am attending on Sunday back home (SO excited Alain and Abby!). I am thankful, nonetheless, for the strange aspect of this week, where papers and tests occur on Wednesdays instead of the usual Friday. Stressful Tuesdays are somehow more manageable than stressful Thursdays. Rather than hitting the midweek slump, I am pumped.

Days like today remind me to find joy in the little things in life, to dance like no one's watching, to use a few cliche phrases. But I really did just dance like no one was watching. What better way to celebrate a lovely day then to crank up Pandora and dance for 20 minutes?! I think there is none, and I really wish life had more dancing, but with no pressure. You see I am not very graceful. I have no rhythm, and I pretty much suck at actually dancing. I basically jump around and throw my arms up in the air. It's rather humorous, but quite entertaining. I am slowly learning to embrace all aspects of my dorkiness and am trying to become more comfortable dancing around people. So what if I look like a dork?!

This is why I love to babysit. Kids don't care if you talk in a weird voice or make up some silly story about what's happening in a moment. I really could go on and on about how I wish people had more fun like children do because life would just be great if we didn't worry what others thought of us and were a little more silly!

Now go read some Calvin and Hobbes and dance to that music next time you feel like it!

A Sudden Fondness for Fall

Fall has never been my favorite season. I tend to dislike cold weather and losing the freedom of summertime to school, but somehow this fall is different. I am beginning to find myself obsessing over various "fall things" and just loving the weather and the season.

Certain things can really only be appreciated when there is a chill in the air. The cold weather just makes everything so much cosy-er. Now, coffee tastes amazing no matter what season, but after drinking lots of iced coffee, it is nice to cuddle up with a book and a mug of hot coffee. Downside: I want to drink coffee all the time, which is neither good for my meal plan nor my caffeine intake (because decaf is just not the same).

Certain music is meant to be listened to in the cold weather. I don't know how to explain which music best suits the cold, but Imogen Heap just screams cold weather.

Baked fruit is everywhere. Apple pies, pumpkin pies, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin bread.... I could go on. I have yet to bake anything with baked fruit yet, but several of my favorite blogs have inspired me to go out and buy some nice organic apples and bake something delicious. The other day in the drive thru, I had a three minute conversation with a lady who ordered the pumpkin shake (tastes really good, but the whole concept grosses me out...) about how much we loved all things pumpkin. It probably could have gone if another car hadn't pulled up.

Other things that make fall great: the leaves changing, Brunswick stew, sweaters, hot chocolate, apple cider, staying indoors more which means more reading, Halloween costumes, Thanksgiving in the Meadow memories, friends.

I'll close with a photo from a drive on the Parkway my freshman year. Drives are a nice escape sometimes. Nothing like the windows down even if the air is a bit nippy, cold weather music playing, and great company. Do you enjoy fall?

Just Thoughts on Being a Junior

My head is so full of thoughts. And I don't want this post to just end up being word vomit, but that is most likely what will occur. In general, I feel more pensive this semester. There has been a lot of different topics and issues that I have wanted to write about, but none that I really felt compelled to actually share. My tendency is to over share sometimes. Hello, Tumblr. I have this tendency of not being able to keep my own secrets. I pretty much tell the world everything, and lately, I have been thinking about why I do that.

This semester has been wonderful so far. I am learning so much about myself and struggling to remember that my identity must be in Christ. I don't know if I have ever wrestled with that as tangibly as I have been lately. All I can really say is that this summer I was super depressed and angsty and mopey and pretty much thought all my friends didn't like me, and now I am at peace. None of those relationships really changed. My friends weren't being horrible to me. I wasn't really ever alone even though I often felt very lonely, but my perspective on things has changed. And it just kind of happened, and I am grateful that it did because life is just FREAKING awesome. Even when circumstances suck,God is faithful and constant.

So far this semester, I have discovered that:

 I kind of actually like running. I am still working on motivating myself, but if I have a good running buddy (like Kelsey Stover! Alice, it's not that I didn't love running with you this summer, but let's face it, neither of us is very good at pushing through wanting to stop...), then I can run more than a mile! My goal is to go for a 5K sometime during the spring, until then I will be happy if I run 3-4 times a week.

Life is better if I spend less time on the Internet. I have mentally written many a blog post on the history of my Internet usage, beginning with Xanga and Neopets to Tumblr, Facebook, etc. But no one would really be interested in that. The Internet is not the best place to vent. And it is quite easy to waste time that I could spend reading a fabulous book like Les Mis!

I really am obsessed with avocados. I could probably talk about them for thirty minutes, not even kidding.

If you say you want to do something, you probably should just go ahead and do it. Things don't get done unless you actually do them. No matter how often you think you need to do ____ or should do ____, it will not happen until you get out of your desk or bed and do it.

I have decided that being a junior in college is pretty awesome. Junior year of high school was awful... Stats class. Stress. AP exams. Homework. Homework. Homework. College decisions (that all changed anyway).  But being a junior in college is where it's at. You have a whole two years under your belt. You're done (or mostly done) with Gen Eds, and actually in your major's classes, which have WAYY less homework. You know how to manage your time a little more, and you are a little more willing to meet and talk to new people since you know your best friends won't abandon you if you try to branch out. All in all, life is great. And if you read through all my ramblings, props.

A strange perspective.

A Trilingual Hymn.

 I visited Christ Church Greensboro today. It was nice to see lots of familiar faces. Even though I don't necessarily have relationships with all these people, they are people I have grown up with, some I have probably seen since I was four. It was nice to have that connection and worship in a different place then I normally do. We sang "Come Thou Fount" which is one of my favorite hymns. I took a photo of this hymn in the Quechua/Spanish hymnal in Peru and thought I would share a compilation of all the lyrics. Obviously, the first stanza is in English, the second Quechua, the third Spanish. If I had a beautiful voice, I would totally sing it for you. While I was waiting at the center before I had to be at the bus station, I opened the hymnal and sang this song in Quechua and then Spanish because it was the easiest to hold the tune with the change in words. Thankfully, God tells us to make a joyful noise to Him. :)

Come Thou Fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
Mount of God's unchanging love.


Cielu kaq canteekunatam
Cantakiita munayaa;
Qeshpitsiyaamanqeekitam
Cantakur, kushikuyaa;
Almaakuna asheqninmi
Shamorqeeki munduman;
Peekunata ankuparmi
Tikrarqeeki waktsaman.


Toma nuestros corazones
Llénalos de tu verdad,
De tu Espíritu los dones,
Y de toda santidad.
Guíanos en obediencia,
Humildad, amor y fe;
Nos ampare tu clemencia;
Salvador, propicio sé.

Alabama, Arkansas, I do love my ma and pa

Traveling is fun, but I don't think I have been more glad to be in Greensboro then I am now. The past few days were spent in misery (okay, only really misery when it was pouring rain and the tents were leaking and we were trapped on the island) at the beach and a few days before that I spent a week in Peru. That's a lot of adventures for two days time with not much recovery in between. This post is not about those many adventures, both fun and not so fun at times.

I love Greensboro. It is the perfect size, big enough so that it is the third largest city in NC, but also not so big that it's a mass metropolitan area with no landscape. Everything is soo green and lovely right now. Rainy days are great, especially the moments before the rain begins to fall. I am enjoying being able to drive and jam to music in English (though I do love Spanish music...). Greensboro friends are great. Many I have known for years and years, while others I am still beginning to know. It's nice to catch up with people you haven't talked to in awhile and hear what's going on in their lives. It's almost as if you can step out of the "doing in life" and just observe and discuss what's up. I don't know what I'm writing anymore.... my brain is slowly shutting off still not fully caught up on rest. I think I will start blogging about life more. I also need to figure out more creative ways to start sentences than with "it's".... This is what happens when you stop reading as extensively.

The title is from a favorite song of mine by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes called "Home." It is good to be home. Greensboro is home with all its familiar roads and buildings, beautiful skies, and beautiful people. And even though sometimes I feel like "home" is a foreign concept as I become more and more involved at school, no matter where I am, this place will always be where I grew up and will hold so many memories. So mom and dad, you better not move cause I really like my room. And here is a photo of Alice in my room, keeping company while I packed for Peru.

The Adventures of Flat Florence in Greensboro!

 

Meet Flat Florence, a cousin of Flat Stanley who is very popular among the elementary school crowd. She arrived in the mail probably a month ago from a very exciting outing in California! My wonderful friends, Amy and Callie, created her as a fun means to stay in touch. Who doesn't love receiving mail and reliving part of our childhood is always fun too! After adventures in Legoland and on the beaches of California, Florence was especially glad to enjoy some rest and play in Greensboro!

A few days after her arrival, Becca, Holly, and Sara stopped in for a visit before heading to Camp Mundo Vista for the summer! It is always good to see friends who live far away! Florence and friends headed to Battleground Park where the Battle of Guilford Courthouse took place! Pictured below is the man whom Greensboro is named after.

 

Florence, "So Greensboro is named after Nathanial Greene, not just cause everything is green! You learn something everyday..."

 Florence took a sneak peak into Holly's craft basket full of ribbons.

The next few weeks were dull to the average eye, but after a crazy week in Cali so close after her creation, Florence needed some rest. Plus she had to work at her favorite place ever... McDonalds!

 There's no such thing as being too old for Hello Kitty temporary tattoos. Florence can appreciate that. 

Not only is Florence a skilled McDonalds' employee, but on the side she likes to entertain kids, especially when the kids are super adorable and her best friend, Alice, is there too. The Liebmann grandkids enjoyed Florence, although Alden didn't quite understand the concept of posing...

 Lots of play occurred.

 Thankfully, Captain America was ready if anything were to go awry...

And Florence's life motto... Keep calm and carry on. It's pretty much what happened those first few weeks of summer.

And now, Florence is off to the beach with Callie, Nate, and Callie's family! Stay tuned for further adventures...

I’m breathing in all the words that you speak you think that you know, but you don’t know a thing

The pressures of the final week of classes and the stress of upcoming exams has me in a pensive mood lately. If there is something that I can deem "more worthwhile" than doing actual schoolwork, I will find it. So far, I have began a plan to read through the Bible in 90 days. I am somewhere around Exodus 15 (don't worry... I do have a bookmark) after beginning sometime last week. I have started researching possible options for grad school, and mind you, since starting college, I have sworn off grad school saying that after four years here I will be DONE WITH SCHOOL. Buuuut, taking Theological German and Theological Latin and Arabic just sounds so fun. And after a video in church about Compassion International, I have researched a possible internship at their office in Colorado. Andrew mentioned in history class a program in Cambridge where you could earn a certification to teach English as a Foreign Language in only a month... oh the possibilities of life after graduation! Goodbye American dream, and hello world!

It has been two months since I have last updated this blog. I would like to start writing more, but sometimes I just have too many ideas and not enough actual desire to write about them. I am beginning to realize though that I enjoy blogs more than I do Facebook. Since a few days before last Sunday, I have been taking a break to check maybe once every few days for messages, but no real browsing. I used to have to look through every post on the news feed until I was current with what I had read the last time I logged on, but now I am okay with maybe glancing at a few profiles. Facebook forces us to reduce our lives to mere statuses, photos, the occasional note, and liking things you sometimes don't even really like that much. I want more depth in my life. I want to struggle to find the words to write here than throw up a few characters about how stressed I am or that I am sooo excited for the weekend. I want to find out who people are by talking to them, not by trying to figure them out via Facebook. That's not really who they are.

I think for as long as I have been on the Internet I have posted things to prove to people that I am worth getting to know. Social media is fun, but must I have a Twitter, a Facebook, a Google + account, and others to keep in touch with friends I see on a day to day basis. I have always had an "Internet life". It was a nice way of escape, and when I was younger and license-less, there was opportunity for communication outside of my family. It began when I went on the website listed on the back of The Clique series (remember those, Alice) and found a forum of middle school girls. Those were fun times until drama erupted, but from that forum, I explored LiveJournal and making graphics. I met some of the coolest people, who actually cared about my life. And this is where the red flag goes up because uh oh, I made online friends who could come stalk me! but it wasn't sketchy at all. As life has gotten busier, I have neglected most of those websites, not necessarily out of choice. It just happened, and it's weird to try to go back.

I don't want my life to be digital. I realize the Internet is a great tool, but I want to have tangible ideas of my friendships and my thoughts. I'd much rather journal and talk about my life to friends than post a status that maybe gets six likes. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? You're giving me a whole twenty seconds of your thoughts. I don't want to be reduced to a mere profile page. That's not who I am.

P.S. The title comes from the lyrics of the song "My Country Tis of Me" by The Collection (Awesome band in Greensboro that you should check out!) The song is kind of a criticism on the selfishness of America. I have this weird thing that I'd rather the title be obscure song lyrics than something like "Reflections on the Internet." Vague makes you want to read, right?

Have you got it in you?

I wanted to be the girl who knew exactly what she wanted to do with her life, and with much determination accomplished what she put her mind too. Needless to say, I am not that girl. I don’t know what happened… I guess I changed my mind, or never knew really what I wanted. This is all in regards to my major in case you were curious. Tomorrow is Advising Day, and I never thought that I would be the person so unsure of what I wanted to study…

I want to go back to high school when I wanted to be a forensic anthropologist. I didn’t care how many times anyone told me that I would probably change my major once I got to college; I was going to be a forensic anthropologist one day. I wish I could say that I lasted a semester in that major, but even before college began, I was rethinking things, realizing maybe I would rather work with children instead of dead people. The field of education must be for me then… some of my favorite people, the ones who inspired me the most, encouraged me in my academic studies, were teachers. And I always have loved school, but I don’t know if I want to be a teacher… or if I should even be a teacher. Lately, my mindset has been that I’ll get my B.S.Ed. just so that I can teach Spanish if I need to or whatever… but is it worth all that time and energy to go for a degree I am not passionate about? When I think about what my schedule will look like next semester, it consists of four classes for education and only one Spanish class. All of those education classes will require lesson plans, observation hours, etc…. And then if I think about student teaching, I freak…. Why would I dedicate a whole semester to something that I might not even be called to do? But then I think about how impractical it is to just major in Spanish because I don’t really want to be a translator, and I’d need to find something to minor in….

I really like my German class this semester. I really like languages in general. I always loved Latin at Caldwell, and I really wish that I could remember and continue with it now. Words are so cool, where they come from, how different regions say them, what they actually mean… And I just want to study them. I know that’s not practical… I mean what am I going to do with that? But maybe I just like the idea of going abroad and living somewhere, being part of a different culture. Maybe I would like to consider and pray about being a missionary. Maybe I would be totally okay if I spent my life working at McDonalds or a bookstore or a coffee shop or being a mom. Maybe I just want to learn for the sake of learning, not to actually devote myself to a career. Maybe I want to double major in International Studies, so I can continue to take German and actually have it count towards my degree. I think I would rather take Political Science, History, Philosophy and Religion, Anthropology, Sociology, and Geology classes much more than Teaching Methods…

I want to be cultured. I want to be able to reach out to others who are from different regions. I want to take that class on Islamic Traditions (unfortunately it’s not offered this Fall semester) because a certain Afghani family won my heart a few summers ago. I don’t want my life to fit into a nice tidy box of “this is how we do things.” So what if this will be my fourth major? Obviously, I am sticking with Spanish, so I got one thing right… I just want to go where God leads me… I just wish He would yell from heaven, “KAREN, THIS IS YOUR MAJOR ________________.”

Motivation

This morning I woke up earlier than normal for the sole purpose of finishing my homework. That's either the mark of a really bad procrastinator or someone who would rather sleep than stay up and "finish" the reading without really comprehending it cause after a certain hour my brain loses focus. In the process of waking up, I updated my Facebook status with a complaint about the workload it appears I will have this semester, but looking back on that post, I see so much wrong with my complaint. Yes, I will have a lot of reading, and this semester will be difficult, but what else did I expect when I came to college? Aren't I paying for this education? (And by "I", I mean the government, my parents, and maybe a hundred bucks here and there from me). I think this lack of motivation I have to work hard is caused by the fact that I don't see this education I'm getting a privilege. Daily I take advantage of the fact that I am at a university pursuing a degree in the field that I have chosen. Not everyone has that opportunity, and that's not even just people in third-world countries. Many Americans cannot feasibly go to college even with all the help the government provides. I mean for some reason our government values education and considers it important to help students even though we are already ridiculously in debt, and here I am pursuing a career in education, and sometimes I don't even give a flip about my own education. I just want to get by. "Oh, it'll get done...." or "I'll catch up on that after class" and then write a paper full of BS that will get me the grade I need, but that's not the point of me being in school. I'm not here just to get by and love the college life in the process. I'm supposed to study hard, but sometimes the motivation is lacking.

So let's make all these words actually mean something by putting them into action and finishing my two chapters of Don Quijote de la Mancha.