You're more real than I thought.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

Those words were rather convicting this morning as we sang one of my favorite hymns in church this morning. I came to church with a semi-idea of how I wanted the last few weeks of summer to look like, but I think God has different plans for me cause today has been a day for conviction. The words from all the songs, the message, conversations with friends all pointed me in the opposite direction than I was heading. I guess you could say that I have been "playing with fire" these past few weeks as far as my heart is concerned; no more explanation is really necessary. While I know this conviction is a good thing, a very good thing, it frustrates me. Not only does it mean that I can no longer go the way I was headed and have to make some kind of effort to change things, it makes me uncomfortable. It means my flesh is about to stop getting what it wants if I plan on listening and following the Spirit. In the past, my conscience wasn't always the strongest, not that I ever really did anything too awful, but ever since sophomore or junior year my conscience weighs on me about the littlest of things. Before it made me feel guilty, but now I can see that it is a blessing, a nudging from the Holy Spirit in the right direction. And now the question remains: will I listen and do what I know is right in where I allow my heart to go?

"The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick who can understand it?" Jeremiah 17:9

Those are my musings during the service this morning, and they have been on my mind all day. I know what I must do, but it all comes down to actually doing it. I am terribly bad about asking for advice in regards to situations that I fully plan on doing my own thing. I know that it is not worth it right now though. I just have to remember what is.