*Forewarning: Some thoughts came full circle this evening. I still don't have a lot of closure, but I wanted to share what I have been thinking about lately. The more I learn, the more I realize I have so much more to learn. Adding a political science minor my last semester of college only caused more uncertainty on where I stand ideologically.*
“If a man is not a liberal when he is young, he has no
heart. If a man is not conservative when he is old, he has no mind.” – Winston Churchill
This past year, I have developed more questions than
answers. It all started with my first and only Sociology class, Regional and
Societal Development. I feel the sole purpose of that class was to depress me
on the state of the developing world and on the horrors of capitalism and
agri-business. The professor was a frightening man. I don’t think he knew my
name until the last week of class. He swore constantly, insulted his favorite
students, and occasionally cleaned up students’ breakfast trash. Those days
were strange. He knew the class was going to be depressing but promised there
would be hope come the end of the semester. I didn’t find that hope. I felt
like he criticized all missionaries as being Western imperialists and I
struggled with how I as a privileged white female should live.
The semester ended, and I wanted to see things from a more
global perspective. I became uncomfortable with the notion that America is the
greatest. I became uncomfortable with a capitalism that permits workers to be
denied living wages, so that I can get my shirt for cheap. I became
uncomfortable with the idea that the Western way is always the right way. I
spent the summer in Winston-Salem working with Karenni refugees and learning
all about missions straight from Southern Baptists.
This semester though, I have had some issues with those Southern Baptists and evangelicals in general, particularly with their political involvement. I began re-reading Blue Like Jazz this evening, and Donald Miller is ON POINT with how I have been feeling in his second chapter “Problems.” A little background – he is at a protest with his friend Andrew as President Bush is in Portland, OR giving a speech.
I felt empowered in the sea of
people, most of whom were also carrying signs and chanting against corporations
who were making slaves of Third World labor; and the Republican Party, who
gives those corporations so much power and freedom. I felt so far from my
upbringing, from my narrow former self, the me who was taught the Republicans
give a crap about the cause of Christ. I felt a long way from the pre-me, the
pawn-Christian who was a Republican because my family was Republican, not
because I had prayed and asked God to enlighten me about issues concerning the
entire world rather than just America (Miller 19).
I took a class on Southern Politics this semester. I learned a lot, but we mainly talked about race and the rise of the Republican Party in the South. The whole concept of the “Religious Right” bothers me. I
realize that not every Christian is a Republican, but coming from a Christian
school to a university in the South, people tie religion with the Republican
Party. It bothers me that when people talk smack about Republicans, that they
are talking negatively about the Christians who hold so tightly to their
conservative politics. There are so many connotations that I wish would be
taken away. When did the “American way” become so tied to Christianity?
Capitalism, business ventures, consumerism, individualism are not aspects of
the Gospel.
Conservative
=\= Christian
Tolerance
and liberal views =\= Love
Socialism
=\= Generosity
Those last few equations are from something I scribbled down
after a Spanish class where we talked about the political parties involved in
the Spanish Civil War. Here is the rest of that note:
“Trying to figure out how these questions can lead me to
live life differently. How do my reflections affect my daily actions? The
issues are not black and white. This “noble cause” should not cause me to
classify people as ‘bad’ and others ‘good.’ All need grace. All need
redemption. All are victims of the Fall.”
Miller
practically read my mind:
When we were done, I started
wondering if we had accomplished anything. I started wondering whether we could
actually change the world. I mean, of course we could – we could change our
buying habits, elect socially conscious representatives and that sort of thing,
but I honestly don’t believe we will be solving the greater human conflict with
our effots. The problem is not a certain type of legislation or even a certain
politician; the problem is the same that it has always been.
I am the problem (20).
And when I worry about the state of our government and
buying my own health insurance and wondering who to vote for that isn’t gonna
just play partisan politics, I remember that it’s not my job to defend
evangelicals and their political views to non-Christians. I also remember that
statistics generalize people a lot. I just hope that Christians will think
about the people they support politically. I just hope that American Christians
will care more about the world than the state of our economy. And I just hope
that I can learn how to follow Jesus in all that I do by looking at how I live
my life and not be so bitter at the system.
