Have you got it in you?

I wanted to be the girl who knew exactly what she wanted to do with her life, and with much determination accomplished what she put her mind too. Needless to say, I am not that girl. I don’t know what happened… I guess I changed my mind, or never knew really what I wanted. This is all in regards to my major in case you were curious. Tomorrow is Advising Day, and I never thought that I would be the person so unsure of what I wanted to study…

I want to go back to high school when I wanted to be a forensic anthropologist. I didn’t care how many times anyone told me that I would probably change my major once I got to college; I was going to be a forensic anthropologist one day. I wish I could say that I lasted a semester in that major, but even before college began, I was rethinking things, realizing maybe I would rather work with children instead of dead people. The field of education must be for me then… some of my favorite people, the ones who inspired me the most, encouraged me in my academic studies, were teachers. And I always have loved school, but I don’t know if I want to be a teacher… or if I should even be a teacher. Lately, my mindset has been that I’ll get my B.S.Ed. just so that I can teach Spanish if I need to or whatever… but is it worth all that time and energy to go for a degree I am not passionate about? When I think about what my schedule will look like next semester, it consists of four classes for education and only one Spanish class. All of those education classes will require lesson plans, observation hours, etc…. And then if I think about student teaching, I freak…. Why would I dedicate a whole semester to something that I might not even be called to do? But then I think about how impractical it is to just major in Spanish because I don’t really want to be a translator, and I’d need to find something to minor in….

I really like my German class this semester. I really like languages in general. I always loved Latin at Caldwell, and I really wish that I could remember and continue with it now. Words are so cool, where they come from, how different regions say them, what they actually mean… And I just want to study them. I know that’s not practical… I mean what am I going to do with that? But maybe I just like the idea of going abroad and living somewhere, being part of a different culture. Maybe I would like to consider and pray about being a missionary. Maybe I would be totally okay if I spent my life working at McDonalds or a bookstore or a coffee shop or being a mom. Maybe I just want to learn for the sake of learning, not to actually devote myself to a career. Maybe I want to double major in International Studies, so I can continue to take German and actually have it count towards my degree. I think I would rather take Political Science, History, Philosophy and Religion, Anthropology, Sociology, and Geology classes much more than Teaching Methods…

I want to be cultured. I want to be able to reach out to others who are from different regions. I want to take that class on Islamic Traditions (unfortunately it’s not offered this Fall semester) because a certain Afghani family won my heart a few summers ago. I don’t want my life to fit into a nice tidy box of “this is how we do things.” So what if this will be my fourth major? Obviously, I am sticking with Spanish, so I got one thing right… I just want to go where God leads me… I just wish He would yell from heaven, “KAREN, THIS IS YOUR MAJOR ________________.”